Why do some pet parents feel guilty about their pet's end-of-life (EOL) journey and loss? Pets are active members of your family, and you often have a profound sense of responsibility for them and the choices that you make for them. Sometimes, you feel you may have failed them in that depth of love and caring.

What influences the feelings of guilt? How your beloved pet's EOL journey went, medical care choices and the circumstances leading up to and around their death can all influence the level of guilt you may feel.

When caring for an ailing or aging pet, you may feel regret and guilt if you had any moments of anger, yelled, or felt frustrated with them in their final days. This is due to caregiver tiredness from all the extra assistance/care required, coupled with the high emotions of an EOL journey and the day of your pet’s transition.

Feelings of guilt are common and often present in the early days following their loss as you look back at the care you gave and question whether it was enough, the right thing to do.

In a decade of communicating with animals, I have come to a profound realization:

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In life, the importance of cherishing the present moment is immeasurable. It allows us to create enduring memories that leave an indelible mark on our hearts. These memories are like snapshots in time, capturing the essence of our joy and love for our cherished animal companions. These snapshots become invaluable medicine for our broken hearts when the inevitable day comes when our pets are no longer by our side.

Each precious moment we spend with our pets is filled with unique emotions, making it a treasure worth preserving. As the saying goes, "A picture is worth a thousand words," and these words tell a powerful story. They narrate the beautiful journey of your bond with your animal, offering comfort and meaning, especially in times of loss.

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The ebb and flow of grief is a journey that each of us embarks upon at different points in our lives. While we experience emotions like happiness, joy, sadness, anger, and fear from a young age, grief emerges following a significant loss. The loss and death of a loved one are universal experiences, but grief is unique, as it appears at different times in a person's life. For some, loss strikes early, while for others, it arrives much later, making it elusive and challenging to be understood and supported by those who haven't experienced a significant loss themselves.

Each person's loss is distinct, just as each relationship is unique. This individuality makes it impossible to compare one person's grief to another's, as there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Grief shows up in a disorderly, random manner, and it doesn't adhere to a set pattern.

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When you recognize the soul within your animal, equal to every other being on this planet, your heart opens wider. Through this openness, you discover a deeper well of gratitude and appreciation—for the time you share, cherished moments, and the incredible gifts you receive from their companionship.

After the passing of a beloved animal, grief often envelops you, and you yearn for their presence. In the midst of this profound sorrow, if you can keep your heart open and walk through your pain, you unearth the courage to face your pain and discover a healing that will open you to growth and a newfound version of yourself you never knew existed.

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Often, in the end-of-life journey, your pet oscillates between good and bad days, leaving you confused about whether to help them transition with euthanization or begin palliative and hospice care.

When pet parents decide on a day to euthanize their pet, they book an appointment and often end up cancelling it last minute because their pet is now more like their old self.

I've witnessed animals have these ups and downs in their end-of-life journey, where after a big low period, they become more like their happy self and make you second guess your choice. Before I became an animal communicator, I too experienced the painful roller coaster of emotions, watching my pets lose a little bit more of themselves in each low, where they would come close to what I believed was now their time, only to bounce back to be more of their old self again. These highs and lows leave many pet parents confused and filled with self-doubt and uncertainty.

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Many of us have heard the old adage ‘Time heals all wounds,’ and we’ve said it to those in pain or grief. It is a saying we use in uncomfortable situations with the intention of being supportive and kind. However, pet parents who have recently lost their beloved animal often say they don’t find this helpful when they are in the midst of pain. It often makes a person feel more overwhelmed and like they may be grieving the wrong way. When they hear this, they feel rushed and need to hide their pain and return to “normal.” Everybody will process and grieve in their own way.

This got me questioning if it’s the passage of time that heals or if it is something else that heals.

I want to share a personal story of time, grief and healing. When I was 17, I faced an agonizing decision to have my 7-year-old horse, Time-L-Tel, live in pain from an irreparable broken kneecap or euthanize him.

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Seeing a person grieving the loss of their animal who is in pain or suffering makes most people uncomfortable, and we naturally want to help them feel better and even try to ‘fix’ them. As lovely as our intentions are, grief does not need fixing. It needs to be witnessed.

Many people, in their uncomfortableness, are often at a loss for words. They stumble and inadvertently, in their awkwardness, say things that do not come across as comforting to the grieving person. Although well-intentioned, we are often unaware that what we believed to be helpful was actually hurtful.

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It is normal to feel disconnected after losing a beloved pet. After they are gone, you deeply long for some connection. There is a strong desire to receive a message from them, as you want to know they are okay.

I want to share three common blocks people experience after their pet's death that keeps them from feeling connected with them in the afterlife and common signs your pet may be trying to send you.