Avoiding the emotions of anticipatory grief that you don’t want to feel is often exactly what prevents you from feeling the ones you do want: love, joy, and connection with your animal.

When we’re walking alongside a beloved animal during illness, aging, or the end of life, it’s natural to want to protect ourselves from the hard emotions, as we often believe we are protecting our beloved animal from our pain. Grief, sadness, fear, and worry can feel overwhelming. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we try to push them down, avoid them, or distract ourselves from them. It’s a very human response. And our animals feel this struggle within us.

Here’s the tender truth: trying to selectively turn off emotional pain doesn’t work. When you numb or suppress difficult emotions, you’re not just turning off sadness, anger, or anxiety; you’re dampening your entire emotional range.

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Grief has a strange way of dividing us into two worlds. There’s the version of us that moves through the world, who gets up, shows up, smiles when expected, answers messages, and maybe even laughs. And then there’s the version of us behind closed doors, wrapped in the ache of impending loss or the absence, curled up in the quiet, and trying to breathe through the weight of either anticipatory grief or missing someone who is no longer here.

When we grieve the loss of a beloved pet, this duality can feel even more isolating. Our grief may not be seen in the same way. It’s often misunderstood and not talked about. And so we wear a mask.

The outside mask says, “I’m okay.”
The inside voice says, “I’m not.”

Some people believe that if we’re functioning, working, smiling, and holding a conversation, our grief must be gone. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

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If you've ever been on the edge of saying goodbye to your beloved animal and suddenly witnessed a surprising burst of energy, you're not alone.

One day they’re withdrawn, tired, not eating… and the next? They seem like their old self again—alert, joyful, even playful. It can feel like a miracle. It can feel like hope. And it can also be confusing, even heartbreaking, if you're already preparing for their transition.

As an Animal Communicator who has walked this road with many clients—and with my own animals—I want you to know:
This is something real. And you're not imagining it.

A Final Gift of Love

It takes an incredible amount of energy for the body to begin the process of releasing the spirit. For many animals, this release doesn’t happen all at once. It unfolds gently, in small increments—like a tide slowly pulling back.

This rise and fall in energy, those “ups and downs,” are part of that sacred rhythm.

And sometimes, there is one final burst of energy or clarity near the end. A rally. A moment where your pet might surprise you by eating again, playing, or wanting to go for a walk.

This is known as a pre-death energy surge in hospice and end-of-life care. It’s well-documented, but when you’re in it, it can feel like a twist in the story you thought you were already writing the ending to.

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If you've ever been on the edge of saying goodbye to your beloved animal and suddenly witnessed a surprising burst of energy, you're not alone.

One day they’re withdrawn, tired, not eating… and the next? They seem like their old self again—alert, joyful, even playful. It can feel like a miracle. It can feel like hope. And it can also be confusing, even heartbreaking, if you're already preparing for their transition.

As an Animal Communicator who has walked this road with many clients—and with my own animals—I want you to know:
This is something real. And you're not imagining it.

A Final Gift of Love

It takes an incredible amount of energy for the body to begin the process of releasing the spirit. For many animals, this release doesn’t happen all at once. It unfolds gently, in small increments—like a tide slowly pulling back.

This rise and fall in energy, those “ups and downs,” are part of that sacred rhythm.

And sometimes, there is one final burst of energy or clarity near the end. A rally. A moment where your pet might surprise you by eating again, playing, or wanting to go for a walk.

This is known as a pre-death energy surge in hospice and end-of-life care. It’s well-documented, but when you’re in it, it can feel like a twist in the story you thought you were already writing the ending to.

Read more…

For some, there isn't any time between diagnosis and compassionate euthanasia. The diagnosis is the end. Those moments come as a heart shock, a surreal wave of disbelief and urgency as you try to grasp what's happening. Your head swims with questions, and you're trying to make sense of the news. Your nervous system naturally kicks into overdrive, doing its best to keep you moving through something that feels impossible to process.

If you've experienced this type of loss, I am genuinely sorry for your loss and experience. This loss is where everything happened too fast, where you barely had time to say goodbye—please know you are not alone. This kind of grief is complicated to process, as the reality of what happened often takes time to settle in fully; each moment brings a new layer of a deeper awareness of your pet's loss and, with it, a fresh wave of grief as the loss of your pet lands more deeply and integrates into reality.

There is no perfect way to move through this kind of loss. There is only the deep, tender attempt to show up in love while holding the weight of heartbreak and shock. Please know that at the time, you did the best you could with what you knew, in the time you had, given your circumstances, and all of this under an urgency you never suspected and immense pressure.

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There is no roadmap for the end-of-life journey with your beloved animal—no absolute signpost that tells you when the "right" time will be. The road isn’t a straight one. And even though it’s now a one-way road, you can still stop and make memories. You can still feel connection. You can still be deeply present.

But let’s be honest: this is one of the hardest places you’ll ever stand in as a pet parent.

You may be feeling unsteady right now—holding so much love, layered with fear, worry, grief, doubt, and the aching question: How do I know when it’s time?

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I still remember the moments I first began to notice Boshporus slowing down. How he hesitated before jumping onto the bed and in the car, how our long walks started became shorter, his naps longer, his sleeps deeper and snores louder and his once boundless daily energy now ebbing with the days. At first, I brushed it off—a bad day here and there, maybe a little stiffness. But deep down, I knew he was shifting and changing with age. And with that realization, an ache settled into my heart, a grief landing inside for what was changing before my eyes.

Loss comes to us in many forms, but with our pets, it often begins long before their final goodbye. It starts in the small, almost imperceptible ways—when their bodies grow tired, when they take more time to get up, when their enthusiasm for favourite activities begins to wane. This loss isn’t just about their eventual passing; it’s about witnessing the life you shared starting to transform into something different. The reality of your time together lessening. The grief it brings is anticipatory, and it is real.

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Anticipatory grief is a profound and often misunderstood emotional experience that can arise when you're caring for an aging, ill, or newly diagnosed pet. This grief, which emerges before the actual loss, can be triggered by various milestones and events throughout your pets lifetime—such as birthdays, if they injure themselves, knowing someone who’s pet has passed or is on their end of life journey, the onset of a new illness, or the visible signs of aging.

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Why do some pet parents feel guilty about their pet's end-of-life (EOL) journey and loss? Pets are active members of your family, and you often have a profound sense of responsibility for them and the choices that you make for them. Sometimes, you feel you may have failed them in that depth of love and caring.

What influences the feelings of guilt? How your beloved pet's EOL journey went, medical care choices and the circumstances leading up to and around their death can all influence the level of guilt you may feel.

When caring for an ailing or aging pet, you may feel regret and guilt if you had any moments of anger, yelled, or felt frustrated with them in their final days. This is due to caregiver tiredness from all the extra assistance/care required, coupled with the high emotions of an EOL journey and the day of your pet’s transition.

Feelings of guilt are common and often present in the early days following their loss as you look back at the care you gave and question whether it was enough, the right thing to do.

In a decade of communicating with animals, I have come to a profound realization:

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In the realm of animal communication, where understanding and connection transcend spoken words, my journey took an unexpected turn. As an animal communicator, I've guided countless pet parents through the emotional labyrinth of responsible rehoming. Little did I know that one day, I'd find myself standing at the crossroads of this challenging decision, faced with the heart-wrenching choice to rehome my own cherished companion.

Soulstice, my dog of love and lessons. Our paths intertwined during the messiest chapter of my life—post-divorce, navigating the care and eventual loss of my mom. Soulstice came into my life when I faced my darkest corners of grief and loneliness. Together, we embarked on a journey of healing and discovery.

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Grief surrounding our bonds with pets transcends the final moments; it intertwines with life-altering events like injuries, diagnoses, and the challenging decision to rehome a beloved companion responsibly. In this blog, I aim to unravel the delicate layers of responsible rehoming, where guilt, shame, and grief often converge. This form of grief is often disenfranchised, as pet parents hide their pain, fearing societal judgment.

We all envision a lifetime commitment when we bring a pet into our lives. However, unforeseen circumstances and life challenges can lead to heart-wrenching decisions. As an animal communicator, I've witnessed the multifaceted nature of these choices and their impact on both pet parents and their animal companions.

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In life, the importance of cherishing the present moment is immeasurable. It allows us to create enduring memories that leave an indelible mark on our hearts. These memories are like snapshots in time, capturing the essence of our joy and love for our cherished animal companions. These snapshots become invaluable medicine for our broken hearts when the inevitable day comes when our pets are no longer by our side.

Each precious moment we spend with our pets is filled with unique emotions, making it a treasure worth preserving. As the saying goes, "A picture is worth a thousand words," and these words tell a powerful story. They narrate the beautiful journey of your bond with your animal, offering comfort and meaning, especially in times of loss.

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